Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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