Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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