just tell him i said nine months
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
