I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
