Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My ass is underappreciated
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
