p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
