I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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