God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
