Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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