Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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