so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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