Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
