Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
