So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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