the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
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You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
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In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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