all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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