I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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