At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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