She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
