WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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