two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
