..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
