Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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