remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
