Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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