There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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