we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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