Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
