Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
