Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This beer is not sobering me up at all
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize