Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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