Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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