just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
