Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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