why didn't you poke me back
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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