before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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