In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Even my vagina gasped.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
