she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
pray to the hookup gods
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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