Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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