operation harelip BJ is a go
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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