If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Come see our sink grown plant.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
