I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
