yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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