if you like me you must not know who I am
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
