Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
