she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
