can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
