I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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