help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
