but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
