I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
