i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
