Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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