Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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