You just made me feel so damn special
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
