1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize