the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
