hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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