She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The air was thick with penises
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.