you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog