no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
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bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
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we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum