Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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