k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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