She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
