I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
