I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You smell like a Billy Joel song
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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